From a very young age, we are brainwashed into believing the truths of the majority. Our uniqueness is questioned and the system tries to mold us into what it believes we should be. Normalcy and averageness are at the crux of toxic beliefs that are ruining your life.
- Instead of chasing your dreams, you’ve been guided into a salaryman position.
- Instead of embracing your personality, you are bombarded with criticism about why you aren’t a loud or bubbly person.
- Instead of being celebrated for making a big change in your life when the monotony of misery seeps into your bones, you’re labeled as someone having a midlife crisis and told to sit back down.
I want to believe that it’s societies fault but in reality, when given a choice, we opt to take the easy way out and give in to these false realities.
Rather than standing up for what we believe in or taking the road less traveled, we submit to the pressure imposed on us by that nagging voice in our head telling us that we’re just not good enough.
Guess what? Every time we act on these toxic beliefs, we prove that voice right.
We sacrifice our future for momentary pleasure or distance from discomfort.
But, if you’re reading this article, it means that you are looking to make a change and that is wonderful.
I was once dumped because I refused to give up my dreams and passion to become someone I was not.
It hurt me on many levels and doubt crept into my mind on a number of occasions.
Sometimes, it isn’t a stranger that breaks our will but the ones we look up to the most.
Be that as it may, I refuse to make excuses for my own choices.
Sure, we can sit here and draw up a list of everyone who fed us these toxic beliefs but that achieves nothing.
Getting rid of these toxic beliefs could make you happier, more successful, fulfilled and motivated.
What we will do is identify the problem and adjust. Life is about movement and we can easily change the course of our trajectory almost immediately.
So, for today’s article, I want to cover some of the most toxic beliefs that are ruining your life, as it did mine, and touch on an alternative belief that would serve you better.
1. I Need More Money To Be Happy
No, you don’t. Happiness is not dependent on external forces despite the instant gratification we get from earning and spending money.
Yes, more money can make life much more comfortable and afford you many more opportunities to be happy but if you haven’t faced the demons inside of you, no matter how rich you are, happiness will evade you.
Ever heard the saying: More money, more problems?
You’re always going to be faced with obstacles in life.
That’s just the nature of the game but you have to be focused and grounded enough to count your blessings.
When you’re unhappy, instead of thinking about what money can do for you, why don’t you think about what life had already gifted you?
Every day, I try to pray and thank God for every single thing he has given me over the years that is important to me.
From my family to my education, to the food on the table and to the times he’s saved me from so many bad things, I let God and the universe know that I am grateful.
No matter how rubbish and terrible I could be feeling, this simple act of stacking my blessings makes me happy.
Try it out.
Do it with sincerity and without expecting anything. That’s when the magic happens.
2. Being An Introvert Is A Problem
Being in the dating and relationship world has drawn my attention to a problematic thought. Tons of so-called relationship gurus talk about how you need to be more enigmatic and loud.
How when you enter a room, everyone must feel your alpha presence.
And they’ll sell you courses on how to be extroverted and so forth.
Who came to the conclusion that in order to be successful, happy, attractive and desired that you have to be this person they have decided on?
If that were true, every introverted or shy person to have graced this earth would have died alone and been removed from existence altogether. Everyone would be extroverted alphas.
Check out my elaborate guide on dating tips for shy guys that actually work.
I’m a huge advocate for self-development and change but not at the cost of who you are as a person, deep within your soul.
By all means, change the parts of you that are weak or holding you back from living your best life but don’t try to become someone you would hate to be.
It’s okay to be yourself. It’s okay to be shy. It’s okay to be introverted.
You’re okay being you! Don’t listen to these people who make you feel like shit because of it.
3. I’m Too Old To Start Something New
You’re only given a set number of years on this planet, right?
And, within that time, for the most part, you can do anything your heart desires.
So, why should you put another age limit on yourself when life itself has imposed an expiration date on you?
Why listen to society telling you that it’s too late for you to pursue your dreams because you’re now 50 years old?
Shouldn’t you at least try?
If everyone has already decided that you can’t do it, then you don’t really have anything to lose, right?
You could have been doing something you hated for the last 20 years of your life but the instant you decide to pursue something that makes you happy, you’ll forget all that hate and pain and be engulfed by those good feelings.
How much more convincing could you possibly need!
4. I Don’t Look Good Enough
Nobody does. Think about it for a second, there’s always going to be someone who looks better than the next person.
There’ll be someone better looking in the next generation and until the end of time.
These magazines and big brands sell you on this idea that you need to look perfect in order to look good.
Do you know why they constantly plaster their marketing campaigns with these models that look almost fake and like a plastic doll?
Because they’re selling you an unattainable idea.
They want you to feel like you’re not good enough so that you can spend your hard-earned money on their products.
Stop measuring and comparing yourself to anyone else.
You don’t need to look like someone else in order to be viewed as beautiful or good looking.
As long as you’re taking daily action to stay fit and look good, that’s enough!
5. Being Alone Is A Problem
I created this site with the intention of helping people attract potential lovers and have wonderful relationships and yet here I am telling you that it’s perfectly okay to be alone.
When I went through a tough breakup, I was afraid to be alone.
When I finally embraced it, I realized that I may be alone but I am not lonely.
I was with myself and at that point, I had developed a healthy relationship with myself.
I became someone of a standup character.
I invested my time and energy into self-improvement and explored new hobbies that made me feel good.
That’s when I truly realized the importance of being alone.
When you can be alone and still be happy, then you’ve reached a state of self-acceptance, self-confidence and self-love that many people fail to achieve.
6. Being Different Is Weird And Wrong
Do you know why people want you to stop being ‘weird’ and to be more like them? It’s not because something is actually wrong with you.
Most of the time, they want you to be like them so that they don’t have to feel so alone in their misery.
They’re too afraid to embrace uniqueness so they’d rather drag you down to their level.
Instead of them standing up for their beliefs or chasing the things that mean something to them, they give up and become another cog in the machine.
And they want you to be like them because they’re too afraid to embrace the painful grind of stepping out of a comfort zone.
Don’t listen to that negative chatter.
You do you and with pride!
7. True Love Doesn’t Exist
This is a tough one because often I encounter someone who says this but behind their words is volatility.
They’ve created this belief to prevent themselves from falling into complete despair and depression.
I sympathize with them but I have to disagree.
It may not be delivered in the way one hopes, but it does exist.
If you aren’t living in the present moment, you could miss it.
When you so fixated on all the fear and negativity looming around you or out in the world, you won’t catch sight of love.
One of my friends is so wrapped up in the times he’s faced rejection that he has crafted this aura of negativity around himself.
His mindset resembles that of an incel.
You can’t always help someone who doesn’t want help or has convinced themselves that a toxic belief is written in stone.
They drown themselves in these self-defeating thoughts to the point that they manifest it into reality.
But if you hold onto hope and live your life with the belief that good, sincere, amazing people are out there who are destined to experience true love with you, that belief will attract them into your life.
8. Everyone Cheats And Lies
Believe it or not, some people can’t be bought.
I’m not talking about prostitution now. Some people’s values and moral compass cannot be bought no matter the price.
There are people who will stay committed and sacrifice temptation because they love and value the things and people in their life.
I think that’s the separating factor between happy people and sad people.
When you don’t sell out and give up on the things that have significance in your life, that’s when you truly experience true happiness.
Not one of us can ever have every treasure in the world.
The minute you start sacrificing the blessings in your life, that’s when you fall into that race of acquiring that which you can and should never have.
There are people who are sincere.
If you really want to find them, first become one of them, in spite of your past or the bad people you’ve encountered.
9. Dreams Are A Waste Of Time
This belief gets on my nerves. I hate people who discourage others to pursue their dreams.
Most of the time its people who were too weak or too scared to pursue their own dreams who end up trying to create this narrative that dreams are unachievable.
You’re always going to face uncertainty and doubt in life.
But, if you can take action despite it, that’s when you truly give yourself a fair chance at living a spectacular life.
Perhaps I’m making an uninformed statement here and I apologize if I am but I feel like one of the reasons why depression is so rampant these days is because more and more people stop pursuing their purpose.
They accept a life that is devoid of a deeper stronger purpose and the ramifications of that choice is an emptiness that refuses to be filled by drugs, sex or alcohol.
Don’t give up on your dreams until you know for a fact that you have given it everything you have and just a bit more.
10. Commitment Is A Death Sentence
For a long time in my life, I was petrified of commitment.
It extended beyond just relationships.
I was afraid of committing to my dreams, to a diet, to a fitness plan and to so many things.
This lack of commitment bothered me.
I felt like I was capable of more. And, my gut kept telling me to look into this more. Acknowledge the fear but don’t walk away.
So, I did that.
I committed to an at-home workout plan and I tried the paleo diet. I stuck on it for almost a year.
I lost 47 pounds in that year and dropped to a size 30 pants!
For the first time in my life, I committed to something even though I had no idea if it would work or not and the results changed my life.
I did the very same thing with my studies and 5 years later, I got myself a degree in law.
During that time I decided to take a leap and commit to a relationship, I ended up having one of the best relationships of my life and learning so much about myself in that time.
Commitment is scary because it challenges you to grow!
Growth may be painful and challenging but it’s the best feeling and experience in the world.
Commitment is the key to growth. There’s no way around it.
Once you taste commitment and experience growth, you’ll never look back again.
What Do You Believe In Now?
The purpose of this article is for you to identify the beliefs that are preventing you from living the best life possible and get rid of them.
It’s never too late to change for the better.
Scratch all those self-defeating and self-limiting thoughts from your mind. You were put on this planet for a reason and you have the ability to do something great.
Love is not out of your reach. Success is not out of your reach. Happiness is not out of your reach.
You just have to be willing to break out of those toxic beliefs and mold yourself anew.
And I know that you can do it!
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