While single, the thought of finding love doesn’t just evoke feelings of stress but also hope. Hope, that once we get married, we’ll never be alone again and that the hardest part of our personal life can conclude.
It’s only when we come face to face with a long-term relationship that we also familiarize ourselves with long-term problems.
It puts a frown on my face to say that romantic feelings cannot conceal character flaws, incompatibilities, and miscommunication. These are often the leading causes of breakups and divorces.
Recognizing the signs of a struggling relationship is the first step toward addressing underlying issues and potentially rekindling the connection. Once an issue is diagnosed, a treatment plan can be implemented.
This article will focus on the signs that your relationship is falling apart and will include actionable advice on how to resolve problems in your relationship so that you can have a happy marriage.
What Are The Signs Of A Failing Relationship?
1. Lack of Communication
Healthy communication is the backbone of any relationship. It’s a red flag when conversations become superficial, infrequent, or fraught with misunderstandings. Partners may stop sharing their thoughts, feelings, or daily experiences, leading to emotional distance. Toxic communication is just as bad. Combative, insulting, and criticizing conversations destroy feelings of fondness and closeness like a poison that slowly travels across the body.
What to Do: Set aside time for open and honest conversations. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner, and actively listen to their perspective. Use “we” statements to encourage mutual participation in the redevelopment of communication, respect, and trust. Please read this article on 15 useful communication skills in a relationship.
2. Frequent Arguments
While disagreements are normal, constant arguing over trivial matters or revisiting unresolved issues can erode trust and affection. I’ve seen my parents bicker about everything under the sun, and that behavior eviscerated feelings of joy in our home. When conflicts turn toxic, with name-calling or stonewalling, it’s a sign of deeper issues.
What to Do: Learn conflict-resolution techniques, such as taking a break during heated moments and seeking to understand rather than win. Learn to communicate with good intentions rather than ulterior motives designed to gain control or power over each other. When couples focus on fixing a problem together, they have a greater chance of remaining happily united.
3. Loss of Intimacy
Physical and emotional intimacy are vital to a healthy relationship. A noticeable decline in affection, such as hugging, kissing, or sexual activity, might indicate a growing disconnect. Intimacy not only stems from physical contact but also a meeting of the minds. Avoiding vulnerability is a mistake many of us make in long-term relationships, and that leads to feelings of loneliness and depression.
What to Do: Reintroduce small gestures of affection and spend quality time together to rebuild closeness. Make an effort to be vulnerable with each other about feelings and thoughts to be understanding rather than critical or dismissive.
4. Feeling Unappreciated
When one or both partners feel taken for granted, resentment can build. Expressions of gratitude and acknowledgment may dwindle, making the relationship feel one-sided. What’s worse than a failure to express gratitude is to express feelings of entitlement. Over time, this leads to deep-seated resentment and habits that will destroy a relationship.
What to Do: Make a habit of expressing appreciation for your partner’s efforts, no matter how small.
5. Growing Apart
Over time, partners may develop different interests, goals, or lifestyles. If these differences are not respected or accommodated, they can create a sense of alienation.
What to Do: Find common ground and try to support each other’s individual growth. Don’t abandon the little enjoyable activities that kept you both grounded and connected. If you don’t have the time, make the time.
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6. Lack of Trust
Trust issues can stem from past betrayals, dishonesty, or unspoken insecurities. Without trust, a relationship struggles to thrive. If you feel afraid to tell your partner about something and they don’t have a history of being insecure or accusatory, then you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
What to Do: Address trust issues directly and consider seeking professional help if rebuilding trust feels overwhelming.
7. Avoiding Time Together
When partners intentionally spend less time together or prefer to be apart, it’s a sign of emotional withdrawal. Avoiding shared activities can signify unresolved frustrations.
What to Do: Schedule time for shared activities that you both enjoy to rebuild your bond. Show up for your partner’s interests even if you don’t connect with them per se. Your presence matters and vice versa.
8. Negative Patterns of Behavior
Repeating unhealthy patterns, such as passive aggressiveness, silent treatment, or excessive criticism, can create a toxic environment. I’ve seen long-term silent treatment weaponized in my own family home, and it put insane amounts of stress on myself and my sibling. It’s toxic, manipulative, and completely destructive for a marriage. Problems never get solved with this approach.
What to Do: Recognize and break these patterns by discussing them openly and working together to find healthier ways to interact.
9. Feeling Unsupported
If you feel your partner no longer has your back during tough times, you may feel isolated. Emotional support is essential for a strong relationship.
What to Do: Communicate your needs clearly and discuss their challenges with your partner. Don’t expect your partner to know what you need without expressing yourself. That’s unfair to you and the relationship.
10. Thoughts of Separation
Fantasizing about life without your partner or frequently contemplating separation can signal that the relationship is in trouble.
What to Do: Reflect on the reasons behind these thoughts and seek counseling to explore your feelings further. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Consider whether you both have fed your relationship the amount of effort and time it might need to thrive before bailing on each other.
Final Thoughts
While recognizing these signs can be difficult, it is crucial to address them with honesty and care. Relationships require effort, mutual respect, and understanding to thrive. If the issues feel insurmountable, seeking the help of a therapist or counselor can provide the tools and guidance needed to navigate challenges together.
Remember, it’s never too late to work on your relationship if both partners are committed to making it succeed.