Men can often be hard to read for women. I don’t blame you. Even though we seem like simpletons, we aren’t exactly easy to deal with. If you’re in this situation of trying to identify the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, I’ve got all the answers you need.
It’s not uncommon for men to be hot and cold. Yes, we can be that way. We may say one thing and yet completely contradict ourselves by doing something else.
Not knowing where you stand with him can be frustrating. I get it. All you want is to know how he truly feels and whether you have a fair chance at having a relationship with him.
I commend you for looking into this because it can save you from a lot of wasted energy, effort and stress.
Ignorance is not bliss in situations such as this one.
Let’s take a quick look at the top 10 signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
- He cancels dates at the last minute.
- He disappears on you.
- He’s dating other women.
- You haven’t met anyone important in his life.
- He doesn’t spend much time with you.
- He’s often distracted and disinterested.
- You don’t factor into his future plans.
- He doesn’t want to put a label on the ‘relationship’.
- He’s not affectionate to you.
- He rejects you.
Let’s analyze each of these signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you in more detail.
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1. He cancels dates at the last minute
It is an undeniable reality that someone who truly wants to be with you will find the time and make the effort to meet. Whether this is in-person dates or a video call in long-distance situations.
It may be quite confusing to you because when you do see him, the chemistry is electric and the overall experience is amazing.
The problem is that he tends to cancel dates at the last minute with silly excuses.
If this happens once or twice, it’s understandable and excusable.
But when this tends to happen on a regular basis, it definitely can and should be viewed as one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
Because if he did, he would move heaven and earth to eventually spend time with you.
Those last-minute cancellations that occur very often are not something to be overlooked.
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2. He disappears on you
Tell me if I’m correct about this – everything is going well. He seems excited to talk to you.
Your attempts at flirting are reciprocated.
You get into a routine with him and just when you start to feel like he is definitely hooked, he disappears.
Sometimes it’s for a day or two, other times it’s for a week or more.
When he does return, he has a lame excuse or avoids addressing it at all. On some occasions, you get angry at him. He gives you a sad story about how things are difficult for him right now and he won’t do it again.
But, he does. Again and again.
This disappearance act is nothing more than a manifestation of uncertainty.
Much like you, he feels the attachment growing but instead of nurturing those feelings into a relationship, he runs away.
Perhaps he’s a commitment-phobe or seeing other people.
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3. He’s dating other women
By no means am I saying that this is one of the few absolute and unchangeable signs he doesn’t want a relationship but it does okay a factor in why he doesn’t want to a relationship with you.
Only when a man has truly developed strong feelings of attachment and investment in you will he be in a relationship with you.
Ordinarily, those feelings of attachment and investment materialize in him wanting to spend time with you over others.
Trust me when I tell you that you will never need to chase or convince a guy to choose you over other women if he is truly ready to be with you or truly cares.
In any other situation, he is either not that into you, not ready to be in a relationship since he’s still getting to know you or he is slightly more interested by someone else.
Some men are open about this and will inform you of their intentions of casually dating and seeing other people.
Other men are more private about it and may never say anything about it until they make a decision as to how they feel.
Related post: 12 Guaranteed reasons why men pull away
4. You haven’t met anyone important in his life
Spend enough time with someone and you’re bound to meet their best friends or family. It’s inevitable. Especially when the two of you are getting really serious.
As a guy, I can vouch for this.
Whenever I’m really into someone, I can’t stop myself from spilling my guts to the people who are close to me.
Think about it – why wouldn’t a man want to flaunt or introduce someone who knocks his socks off to the people in his life?
Unless of course he isn’t ready for a relationship with you then he definitely will avoid the topic altogether.
5. He doesn’t spend much time with you
Love and attraction develop when you spend time in the presence of someone followed by time apart.
The more someone likes you, the more of them you will see.
What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that a man will be reaching out to see you and spend time with you as much as possible if he genuinely likes you.
If what you find is that he barely replies to your texts, doesn’t stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, doesn’t ask you to meet him or cancels dates at the last minute, you’re dealing with one of the classic signs he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
6. He’s often distracted and disinterested
Let’s assume that you manage to get him to meet with you for a bit but instead of being plugged in, he’s all over the place.
Perhaps he’s lost in thought or he’s constantly checking his phone.
For a man to not pay attention to a woman he’s currently getting to know who he finds attractive and compelling is strange.
When considering whether this is one of the top signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, it’s best to analyze the frequency of how often this happens, whether he’s going through any sort of profession or personal crisis and if he is actively seeing other people.
The former explanations can be dealt with and excused but the latter is cause for concern.
Related post: How to give him space to miss you and come back
7. You don’t factor into his future plans
As human beings, we are wired to value connection with others.
Even those who are introverted or ferociously independent desire some form of human connection.
As this connection develops, so too does the desire to spend more time with each other.
That’s why people still get married. The idea of sharing a future with someone is almost intoxicating.
And you can usually measure someone’s level of connection and investment by how they structure their future plans.
A man who actively makes plans that do not have space for you in it is a man who isn’t as interested or invested in having a relationship with you, especially if you’ve known each other for a significant amount of time.
Understandably, plans do change.
But if you bring up a future with him and he scoffs at the idea, I think it’s fair to say that he doesn’t care about it as much as you do.
8. He doesn’t want to put a label to the ‘relationship’
Unless you’re moving too fast and it’s still early days, no man is going to avoid making things official when he is attracted and falling for you.
Take this from a guy, we usually avoid relationship labels when we aren’t convinced of how we feel about you or when we are still dating other people.
In such a situation, all you can really do is back of a bit, take it slower and look at some of the signs of growing attraction.
Eventually, he’ll either do enough to show that he has changed his mind or he’ll stick to his guns.
9. He’s not affectionate to you
Rarely will you find a man who is attracted to you, physically, intellectually and emotionally, not showing his affection!
If anything, someone who really wants to be in a relationship with you will have a hard time containing their feelings.
Often, I advise and coach men who literally struggle to exercise emotional control when they are smitten. The last thing they want to do is take things slow and not display their level of affection for a woman they want.
If he hasn’t been affectionate to you in ways that most guys are, there’s a high chance that it’s a sign he doesn’t a relationship.
10. He rejects you
Take him at his word. What we can rely on is that men often blurt out exactly what they think. No amount of strategies is going to change that. It’s not your job to convince him otherwise.
If he doesn’t want a relationship with you, chasing after him and trying to fix the situation will only give him more reasons to avoid one with you.
Think about it, we’re living in a world where guys are turning into incels and simps on hoards.
They’re desperate to find women but can’t get lucky.
The only time a man will directly reject you is if he doesn’t find your attractive enough, has unresolved feelings for someone else, is rebounding, a commitment-phobe or is just not looking for a serious relationship right now.
Unless any of those things change organically and naturally, you have to make peace with reality and not waste your time on someone who doesn’t see your true worth.
Don’t sell yourself short
I cannot begin to emphasize the importance of developing a belief that you are a woman of quality and desirability.
Until you see and project your true worth, nobody else really will.
You’ll always find yourself chasing after men who are not willing to put in the work to experience the bliss of a wonderful relationship because subconsciously, you’ll believe that this is all you deserve.
Trust me when I tell you that you deserve better. You deserve a man who cannot contain his desire to be with you.
You deserve a man who looks at you with adoration and respect.
Don’t settle for just anyone.
I know it’s intoxicating to deal with a man who seems like a challenge but do not fall into that trap. You may just find yourself locked within a space of unhappiness, uncertainty and stress.
Here’s what you can and should do – focus on people who are emotionally available and genuinely interested in having a serious relationship with you.
You may need to reset for a while and make a mental note of what qualities you want in a man going forward. That’s okay. Do it. This little activity will guide you towards men who are better suited for you.
Most importantly, don’t lose hope.
When the right man crosses paths with you, the story won’t be riddled with uncertainty and doubts.
If anything, committing with each other may happen without you having to force it at all.
In regards to your current predicament, if you sense that he really doesn’t want a relationship with you, then it really comes down to making a choice.
Either you accept the situation and settle for being friends. Alternatively, you can distance yourself, start dating other men, keep things light and flirty with him and move on with your life without closing the door.
The last option at your disposal is to use the no contact rule. This will help you to move on, avoid the friendzone and ascertain whether the fear of loss can ignite the realization of unfulfilled attraction.
Related post: How to make a guy chase you by ignoring him
With that being said, I hope you have a complete understanding of all the signs he doesn’t want a relationship. Please feel free to leave your thoughts and questions in the comment section below.